The Proper Use of Punctuation

A writing acquaintance asked me to read an excerpt from her newly published book yesterday, and of course, because I whole-heartedly support fellow indie writers, I agreed. I made it to the second sentence. What made me stop reading?

The first two sentences, which merely set the scene, both ended in exclamation points. If that's how it started, I don't want to read the rest because, to use one my son's favorite lines, ain't nobody got time for that.

Now, maybe it's the editor in me, but I have absolutely no tolerance for punctuation misuse. If you want to be a writer, punctuation is part of your tool bag. Therefore, you have an obligation to learn to use it correctly. And don't give us that crap about being a maverick and breaking the rules. In order to successfully break the rules, you have to first know what they are. Believe it or not, those of us who know them can tell the difference.

This used to drive me crazy when I was editing proposals because proposal writers seem to think everything should either be bold or encased in quotation marks. Argh! (BTW - the exclamation point there DOES denote excitement, and not in a good way.)

I went to school when they still required you to diagram sentences in English class. I had a mentor in college who was an absolute taskmaster when it came to correct grammar, sentence structure, and punctuation, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank the powers that be for sending her my way because it made all of that become second nature to me. I have only to read a lot of written work now to realize schools don't teach that any more.

Even the newspapers are guilty. If I see the Tampa Tribune write SOCOM (the acronym for Special Operations Command) as Socom in the paper one more time, I'm going to scream. You're a newspaper in the business of conveying accurate information. You'd think you could get a name right.

Okay, with the rant accomplished, here's a quick primer on punctuation:

Exclamation points - used to convey excitement, mainly in dialog. NOT to show emphasis in sentences. See what I did there? To emphasize that sentence, I capitalized not. I didn't say: Not to emphasize sentences! I see a blue butterfly! We went to dinner! I woke up and went to work! Remember this--if you use something enough, it no longer has the same effect.

Semi-colon: think of it as a yield sign. Used to separate a sentence fragment that can't stand alone as a sentence. NOT used to separate items in a list, i.e., apples; oranges; butter. For those we use a...

Comma - I used to work with an editor who called most writers Comma Shakers. A comma indicates a natural pause. Here's a good rule to follow - before you use a comma in a sentence, say the sentence aloud. If you naturally pause there, use a comma. If you don't, don't stick one there. I see sentences with commas in the weirdest places and it just makes me want to yank my hair out.

Quotation marks - The word quotation should give you a hint at its use. A quotation is a piece of dialog. He said, she said stuff. Quotation marks are NOT used to set off words or phrases in normal narrative. Correct:  "This is dumb," she said. Incorrect: The "dumb" girl said something.

Apostrophes - used to a) denote possessive, or b) to separate parts of a contraction. Which leads me to another pet peeve. The English language is full of little idiosyncracies. As a writer, you should make it your business--if you write in English--to learn them. For instance, the words it's and its. It's is a contraction of the words it is. Its (without an apostrophe) is the possessive of it. Another one, They're and their, and let's throw in there while we're at it. Look them up in a DICTIONARY (what a concept) and learn to use them correctly.

So there you have it. If you think it's not important, that no one else in this texting-crazy world really cares if you use exclamation points at the end of every sentence and semi-colons after every other word and tell us all that their all going to the movies, think again.

Writing is hard work. Writing a book is even harder. Selling said book is harder still. Do you really want to turn off a potential reader/sale by looking ignorant of your craft? I wouldn't take my car to a mechanic who clearly didn't know what the engine does. This is no different. You say you want to be a writer? Then learn HOW to write.


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